Down to the Wire

I got into grad school.  I’m really excited that this is happening. But I won’t be starting school until the fall semester.  I’m okay with that.  I just won’t have the financial help of financial aid.   At least not until school starts anyway.   I’ll have the opportunity to follow my dreams. I can apply to “student only” internships.  I can practice, practice, practice, until I’m a great writer.  I have a second chance at school.

Even though I didn’t find out about grad school before I came down to florida, I’ve been trying to get everything settled.  I should be able to transfer from my job in NC to one in FL.  I have no apartment yet and I don’t have a start date for work. My Mom is leaving on sunday.  I have to figure  this all out in a matter of days.  What do I do if my parents leave before I’m ready to  move?  I guess this is where I am relying on a little faith.

I know this is going to be hard work.  I tell my boyfriend about the apartments I’m going to see tomorrow, and the neighborhood I’d like to live in.  He keeps asking me how am I going to get to work?  How do I plan on getting around?  The bus, I tell him. I think he feels that he could at least help me out when I was living nearby.  But now that I’m going to be a half an hour away from him, he cant do anything to help me.  But thats okay.

I have to do this on my own. I have to prove to everyone who thinks I am going to fail, that I’m not.  Sometimes, I feel my parents are resigned to the fact that I cant do this, not my way at least.  Yes, I will have to take the bus.  Yes, it will be really hot outside.  Yes, it will rain and I may just get wet.  Yes, it may take me an hour to get to work.  But I’ll make it work.  I will save for a car.  I will pay down my bad debt so I can get a car loan.  I’ll do what I need to, to get by. I’m not sure I’ve ever worked this hard for something. I’m not ready to give up.   I’m so close and I don’t know whats going to happen.  I’m scared out of my mind.


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